Inspiration for Ella’s Ghost

One night, many years ago, probably around 2000, I woke up and thought I saw a figure within the grey patchwork of shadows in my room. I didn’t think it was a ghost; I just made a mental observation that the shape appeared to look like a person. I fell back to sleep. The next morning, I started thinking about the idea of a woman seeing a ghost during the night—the night before the morning shed planned to take her own life for a reason unknown…

At no point was this woman me, and I’m really not sure where that aspect came from, only that the presence of something unusual caused a shift in the woman’s line of thinking and urged her to focus on what she may (or may not) have seen, rather than continuing her current path of ultimate self-destruction…

Over a very long time this idea developed into scenes in my mind (at this stage nothing was put down on paper) and I began to feel strongly for the characters I was seemingly creating. The idea stayed with me, lurking in the background, growing, germinating on its own.

Fast-forward to a teacher training course I did in c.2005 where I met a woman called Ali. We remained classmates, not socialising beyond that, but she was good friends with another classmate with whom I’m still in touch today. A couple of years after this course, our mutual friend informed me that Ali had died by suicide. The reason: she could not escape her abusive ex-boyfriend.

Fast-forward even more years, to c.2015, and I finally get the writing bug that spurred me to start lots of different stories. They became steppingstones to the realisation that there was an idea rattling around inside me for years, and I had to bring it to fruition.

I think I’d already made the connection with Ali’s circumstances and the reason for the woman character to be planning her suicide. I wanted a real-life reason for the character’s decision, and Ali’s was one that came to mind (She is not the only person I know to have taken her own life, as I’m sure may of you can relate to).

But I didn’t realise how important the connection was. If Ali had taken her own life due to, say, gambling issues, “Ella’s Ghost” would be a completely different story! As it turned out, grounding the story in domestic abuse makes this story very relevant, personal and important, if not just for the fact that 3 women every week in England and Wales take their own lives because of domestic abuse.

Let me say that again:

EVERY WEEK, IN ENGLAND AND WALES ALONE, 3 WOMEN TAKE THEIR OWN LIVES BECAUSE OF DOMESTIC ABUSE.*

I am not a domestic abuse survivor (although I have used an isolated incident I experienced in a scene in my story), but I know many survivors. It is a social issue that continues to this day and reflects the real lives of millions (if not billions) of women over the world, and I’ve grown to become quite passionate about fighting for its eradication. I often help raise money for domestic abuse charities. I’ve used many real life case study examples in my story, as well as imagined horror—but I don’t think anything in my book is beyond the realms of possibility, and I believe that everything in my story has sadly happened to someone, somewhere.

*2017 Refuge